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Archive for January, 2021

Taking Time Off

January 27th, 2021 at 04:50 am

I did decide to take family medical leave from work. On the first day of leave, as though it was planned, Dad was unexpectedly discharged early.


It’s time off one area but time on another. I’m looking forward to these months. I hope to focus on three areas: Dad’s return to health (of course!), my twins’ schooling, and my health habits. For Dad there are frequent doses of many drugs to administer, things to check, and appointments to attend. It’s a little stressful because I’m afraid of messing something up. The drug choices and doses have been and will continue to be changed frequently over the coming weeks.


Hospital view


While FML is unpaid time, the company does allow accrued sick time to be used. I am very thankful that I have been well over the years so now I can continue to get paid while I focus this time on the family. I’m hoping too that as Dad gets stronger, we can plan small outings to enjoy the city that is our temporary home. It’s a strange time but these will be memories we’ll hold forever.


My finances have done well on autopilot over the past few months. I’ll get back to regular financial posts after month-end. I hope to have more time to keep up with blog posts.


What Love Looks Like

January 19th, 2021 at 02:09 am

Well, this time it’s been four months since my last entry – unbelievable and yet so much has happened in that time. I’m still down south helping care for my dad but the tide has turned. After months of effort and care, my dad did qualify for the transplant list and finally, finally yesterday morning in the wee hours, the transplant surgery was performed. It was about 8 hours long and successful. He’s in ICU now and likely has another week in the hospital.


The entire process has been an emotional roller coaster but here we are. He has a chance at life. Now we’re required to live in the same city as the transplant center for a couple of months. My brother and I have rented an Airbnb and are prepared to be caretakers for Dad. I’m evaluating taking a FMLA leave from work.


Over the past few months I’ve taken over the administrative aspects of Dad’s life. Now I look forward to transitioning his life back to him. So to add to the list of accomplishments in the previous post:

++ moved Dad’s IRA to Vanguard (and it’s since gained tens of thousands of dollars in value)

++ removed the 30-something rent-free boarder, changed the locks, & installed security cameras

++ organized the bedrooms that had been occupied by the rent-free boarder

++ hired and managed 24/7 caregivers when Dad’s condition reached a level that required constant assistance


This situation has been really hard on my family but I don’t regret my commitment to my Dad. It was life or death – we had to give it all we had. My brother and I were talking about our journey during the surgery and he said something that resonated: “This is what love looks like.”