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Student Loans

February 21st, 2020 at 05:22 pm

College funding is a priority for our family. I hate student loans so much – it seems like they hold young adults back right at a time in their lives that they should be future-focused and optimistic. We communicated to the boys early that we would do everything possible to pay for college so they didn’t need to start their adult lives fighting debt. In order to do that, there are things we sacrifice but we’re okay with it because our priorities are in line with our values. So we don’t have cable, car notes, cleaning services, or annual vacations for example, and we don’t routinely eat out beyond celebrations. (though if you read an earlier post, you know we don’t execute this flawlessly) We don’t buy cars or cell phones for kids and we don’t intend to help pay for weddings or houses.

With that stated though, there is a requirement for the boy. He must provide a return on investment for the college spending in order for us to continue funding college. DS1 didn’t do that and I cut him off after his second year of college. This was a serious ‘tough love’ move on my part. So you don’t think I’m heartless, I should say that DS1 is an extremely capable intelligent kid. He could make straight As if he busted his rump to do it. Had he been putting forth his best effort and come up short, I’d have been more compassionate – I promise. Instead it was his social life that he unfortunately prioritized. He’s an extrovert (my opposite!) and he enjoyed parties and didn’t regularly attend all his classes. Of course he didn’t volunteer this info, but I figured it out. I told him that I hoped he finished up his degree but that he’d be doing it on his own nickel. And I told him that if he succeeded, no one would be prouder than me because I’d understand what it took for him to do it.

To his credit, DS1 didn’t debate and he didn’t play the victim. He knew he’d messed up. So for a year or so, he sat out while he worked full-time. He discovered then that the jobs available to him without a college degree were limited and didn’t pay well. Then he re-enrolled at the college and he got student loans. He hit an issue at that point. Even though he was no longer a dependent for our taxes, applications for loans beyond $7500 (I think that was the amount.) required that a parent either co-sign or take them out. So he came to me. I’ll be damned before I co-sign a student loan! But because I did support DS1’s effort to finish school, I offered to be the lender instead. Today he owes me $14k. One of the stipulations of my loans was that they have to be repaid in 3 years – not 10 or more like the government allows. I want him to bite the bullet and get the debt behind him.

DS1 graduated in December and just accepted a job offer. He has two roommates in a similar position that he’s known for years. Both have entry-level jobs and are paying off student loans. (They jointly celebrated sometime last year when one of them got his balance below $100k!) So now I’m reminding him about his payment obligations and offering to help him budget his new pay. Because of the precedent I set with DS2 on splitting scholarship money, I am giving a credit to DS1 for the small athletic scholarship he received one semester.

The payments I receive from DS1 will go to house debt.

I am very proud of DS1. He finished two years of college while working full-time to support himself. In my mind, his super expensive lesson had a happy ending.

Now you know why I’ll never state that all my boys graduated without student loan debt despite it being important to me.

Maybe the Lesson is Learned By Now

February 10th, 2020 at 12:59 pm

This week I purchased dog food and entered it as part of our grocery expenses. It was a first – up until this point I’ve transferred money from DS3’s account to mine to cover the cost any time I purchased dog food.

About a year and a half ago DS3 had a GF and the two decided to get a puppy together. Well, it was not vetted with us and I was more than a little annoyed when the dog arrived. I love dogs (but not as much as cats!). And DH really loves dogs. I think DS3 knew that once we saw the puppy that we wouldn’t have the heart to tell him to get rid of it. He was right.



As typical of kids, even older ones, after the first week or so, DS3 was not the one tending to the puppy. DH did and still does the brunt of the work to take care of her and she’s high maintenance. We don’t have a fenced yard so she has to be walked and it gets COLD here on winter mornings. I was determined though that DS3 would take on the entire cost for this unplanned pet and I stuck to that. He didn’t debate it at first. He paid hundreds of dollars (some with help from the GF) for vet visits and vaccinations and then either bought himself or refunded me for dog food. I insisted that she be spayed, and that cost him over $600. He told me I should have shopped around. I told him HE should have shopped around.

Unsurprisingly, the relationship with the dog outlived the relationship with the girl. There wasn’t a custody battle – the dog became ours and stayed here. And to be honest, there’s no way DH would allow that dog to live anywhere else. The two have bonded.

So now DS3 no longer receives an allowance and he’s preparing to leave for college. My original intent was to make him take financial responsibility of the dog forever – even expecting him to find a place to live that accepts dogs after he graduates. Now, I’m rethinking because for one thing – DH considers the dog his now, and for another - I don’t want DS3 to feel pressured to get a job while he’s in college to support the dog. So after I grabbed that big bag of food this week, I didn’t transfer any money. I also haven’t said anything yet so I could change my mind. But perhaps this is a point we can agree that the dog changed owners. Now that my anger has subsided and she’s become part of the family.

DS4 Got the Job

February 4th, 2020 at 02:24 pm

As I said earlier, I was proud of him no matter what because he took initiative and prepared himself for this opportunity. I’m glad it paid off. He’s going to be a lifeguard at a local fancy-pants hotel.

The vet bill finally cleared on the Ally CC, so I redeemed my last rewards – 80 bucks to the Ally savings account. Ka-ching.


So long, January!

February 1st, 2020 at 06:38 pm



For our family January ended on a sad note: FIL died yesterday. He was in hospice so it wasn’t unexpected but still tough to accept.

Yesterday was my fast day too (new habit – one of my 2020 goals) and I survived. Going for two days to get my February day in too was not an option though – 24 hours was as much as I could take. So I’ll plan for another day in February. And I’ve got to decide what my second new health-enhancing habit will be beginning this month.

On the financial front (since that’s the focus of the blog!), DS4 had an interview today for a summer job. He feels good about it. He was nervous but prepared. I’m really proud of him, no matter what happens. Hopefully he’ll get an offer after they check his references.

I’ve stopped using the Ally CC and I’ll redeem my points for cash to the online savings account once my last purchase moves from ‘pending’ – a nearly $300 vet bill for our feline’s annual check-up. Then I’ll be done with that account.

I’ve started doing taxes and hope to finish them within a few days. And I’ve sent principal payments to the 0% CC with a balance and to house debt. I’ve also just been reimbursed for my business trip earlier in the month so I need to send that to the CC before it’s due.

Money Management For Our Kids

January 25th, 2020 at 01:46 pm

Yesterday DS3 bought a truck and a 4-wheeler! I was surprised since he hadn’t discussed it with me, but he’s 18 now and he used his own money.

When our DS1 was very young I read several articles about teaching kids money management skills. I was interested because I felt like WE were just learning money management skills at that time and I didn’t want to repeat the cycle of learning about money ‘the hard way’. [I ought to blog sometime about our ignorance and some of our terrible decisions during those days…] One thing struck me as I read the articles: kids can only learn to manage money if they have money to manage. So based on that premise, I created our family’s money program for kids and though I would tweak some things if I were to start again, overall it has been effective. My boys know so much more than I did at their ages – all of them.

We started an allowance at age 5. The DS received one quarter per year of age each Sunday. Then beginning at age 10, he received 50 cents per year of age each Sunday. At age 13, it bumped to $1. At age 15, it bumped up again to $2. At age 18, it stopped.

It wasn’t just the amount that was progressive – the financial responsibility was too. So at age 5 he just paid for candy and extra toys. I never had to say “no” to a kid whining for candy in a check-out aisle. Instead I said “Of course you may have those M&Ms – did you bring your money?” Or “Do you have enough?” By age 15, the boy was expected to pay his own entertainment expenses including gas, movies, dates, and also buy his own clothes. I didn’t have to debate about what clothes brand was ‘cool’ and acceptable – he could buy whatever he wanted. Also at age 15, I opened a checking account at the credit union and began direct depositing the allowance instead of using cash. That’s when he received his first debit card.

The boys also had chores but they weren’t linked to the allowance. The chores are mandatory because they live here – only some special jobs qualify for payment and they’re optional. Over the years I sometimes gave advice, even unsolicited advice, but I never made rules about how money was spent or saved. They decided for themselves whether some expensive things were worth it and they learned fairly young how to calculate sales tax. They’ve learned what banks do when your account gets even a teensy bit negative. Recently they’ve learned that when you sign up for a deal online sometimes there’s VERY small print that indicates that you’ve really purchased a subscription and the company will hit your account every month.

At age 12, I established a savings account for the DS and I agreed to match contributions, BUT the savings could not be touched until age 18.

When he turned 18, DS1 had a princely sum of $350 in that savings account. For six years all his savings efforts plus matching contributions: $350. He even had a job for the last few months of that time. DS2 decided when he turned 15 that he didn’t really need $30/week so he requested to have $10/week put into his savings. With matching, that was $20/week. (Yes, it did hurt a little…) At age 18 he had $4000 saved up. He asked me then to show him about investments so I helped him set up a Roth IRA. He could only put about $1200 in it that year because it’s all he earned. So now DS3 just turned 18 last month. He also had parts of his allowance directed to the savings like DS2 plus he would occasionally hand me money earned from a job. I once had to double $900! He also heard from DS2 how much more investments earn than savings so when he was 16 he asked if he could put some of his savings in a brokerage account so long as he still didn’t touch it until 18. I agreed to that. He had just over $7000 in the two accounts combined when he turned 18. I think he’s probably just spent the savings money and left the $2000 in the brokerage account. As for DS4 and DS5, it appears that they’ll be somewhere in the middle. One has between $1k and $2k and the other between $2k and $3k. The one with more requested a brokerage account too. They’ve still got a year and half before they turn 18.

What’s interesting is they all learn from one another. In some ways DS1 was at a disadvantage because he was first. But even so, it’s about learning lessons while the stakes are low. He was recently eligible to sign-up for a company’s 401k for his student job while in college and he did make that choice because he’d learned the value of automatic savings from his brothers.

Final Tuition Bill

January 17th, 2020 at 01:59 pm

Well for DS2 it’s the final bill. He expects to graduate this May. The tuition & fees bill from the university is just under $11,000. Each semester we cobble together funds to pay for college so for this bill the funding looks like this:

$6200 funds from 529 account
$4200 half of scholarships received
$600 cash set aside


529: This is our last withdrawal. The account for DS2 is now closed. I like closing accounts – it makes me feel like I’m simplifying my financial life.

Scholarships: I made a deal with DS2 that if he brought scholarship money in, we’d split it. As a result, he brought in $2500 his junior year and $16,000 his senior year. I wish I’d made the deal sooner – we paid full price for his freshman and sophomore years. I’m pleased to know that he used his share to fund his Roth IRA for 2019. [Not all my boys are so responsible – this one gets it.]

Once I pay for the remainder of his rent ($500 x 6 months), food ($200 x 5 months), and electricity ($20 x 7 months), then I can say that I’m DONE with DS2’s college costs. There will probably be some graduation fees too – hopefully they are minor. Then I’ll focus attention on DS3’s upcoming costs.