Middle-aged married mom looking ahead while enjoying today This week I purchased dog food and entered it as part of our grocery expenses. It was a first – up until this point I’ve transferred money from DS3’s account to mine to cover the cost any time I purchased dog food.
About a year and a half ago DS3 had a GF and the two decided to get a puppy together. Well, it was not vetted with us and I was more than a little annoyed when the dog arrived. I love dogs (but not as much as cats!). And DH really loves dogs. I think DS3 knew that once we saw the puppy that we wouldn’t have the heart to tell him to get rid of it. He was right.
As typical of kids, even older ones, after the first week or so, DS3 was not the one tending to the puppy. DH did and still does the brunt of the work to take care of her and she’s high maintenance. We don’t have a fenced yard so she has to be walked and it gets COLD here on winter mornings. I was determined though that DS3 would take on the entire cost for this unplanned pet and I stuck to that. He didn’t debate it at first. He paid hundreds of dollars (some with help from the GF) for vet visits and vaccinations and then either bought himself or refunded me for dog food. I insisted that she be spayed, and that cost him over $600. He told me I should have shopped around. I told him HE should have shopped around.
Unsurprisingly, the relationship with the dog outlived the relationship with the girl. There wasn’t a custody battle – the dog became ours and stayed here. And to be honest, there’s no way DH would allow that dog to live anywhere else. The two have bonded.
So now DS3 no longer receives an allowance and he’s preparing to leave for college. My original intent was to make him take financial responsibility of the dog forever – even expecting him to find a place to live that accepts dogs after he graduates. Now, I’m rethinking because for one thing – DH considers the dog his now, and for another - I don’t want DS3 to feel pressured to get a job while he’s in college to support the dog. So after I grabbed that big bag of food this week, I didn’t transfer any money. I also haven’t said anything yet so I could change my mind. But perhaps this is a point we can agree that the dog changed owners. Now that my anger has subsided and she’s become part of the family.
Maybe the Lesson is Learned By Now
February 10th, 2020 at 12:59 pm
February 10th, 2020 at 03:03 pm 1581346981
February 10th, 2020 at 08:24 pm 1581366296
Perhaps you can sit down and discuss this with DS3 and talk about how this rash purpose could be learned from.
I'm glad you like the dog. I'm sure you have a loving home for it and sometimes dogs who are older (not puppies) have a harder time finding a good home. You are good people.
February 11th, 2020 at 03:38 am 1581392290