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Family Assistance

September 12th, 2020 at 10:15 am

It’s been over a month since my last entry and what a month it’s been. I’m currently down south helping care for my dad as he deals with serious health issues. I arrived in time to prepare and then narrowly miss two hurricanes. One of my brothers lives here but Dad’s condition worsened to a point that my brother didn’t know what to do.

The good news is that Dad is somewhat stable now. I monitor his meds and diet and I’m proud to say that I’ve gotten him to enjoy green smoothies. His mental clarity is back but he’s tired and weak all the time. The best-case scenario is that he’ll qualify for a transplant list so his overall condition is still quite serious.

Everything needed attention: his house, his finances, his health, and a couple of relationships. Dad is generous and gullible and he’s been taken advantage of repeatedly. Some things were obvious to us but the more I organize, the more I find out. I am thankful that he’s thinking clearly now so I can ask questions and support by doing things with his approval instead of just taking over.

One of the next tasks on my Dad to-do list is to move his IRA to Vanguard. He has an advisor account with someone he met who is charging thousands of dollars each year in fees. His money is invested in about two dozen funds. It looks needlessly complicated for a modest retirement account. Dad has agreed and he trusts my judgment. Any suggestions for good funds for retirees? (once I get the funds transferred to Vanguard) My own retirement account is more aggressive since I’m not retired and I’m willing to take on some risk. That’s not Dad’s situation.

I’ve made good progress in my time here so far:
++ gotten Dad to retire. He’d been eligible for a healthy pension but enjoyed working.
++ paid off his mortgage
++ given notice to the 30-something woman with toddler that has been living here rent-free for 18 months
++ locked the credit card that was being misused by others
++ reclaimed two bedrooms that had been taken over as storage facilities for others
++ most importantly: improved Dad’s diet and lifestyle

Soon I’ll be making a trip home to get our household up-to-date and to retrieve personal items before returning. I’m not sure how long I’ll need to stay – I’m being flexible. And DH is being really understanding. I’m glad we chose online school for the boys this year. I'm also glad that I have a job that allows me to work anywhere with an internet connection. I saw a photo of a shirt that had ‘2020’ and 1 of 5 stars beneath it with “would not recommend”

5 Responses to “Family Assistance”

  1. Wink Says:
    1599911125

    Thank goodness your dad has you! I'm so glad he is feeling better, and that you were able to sort things out, that is quite a long list of things that needed attention. It makes me so mad when people take advantage of the elderly.

  2. MonkeyMama Says:
    1599914954

    Ugh, what a mess. But glad you are able to be there and to help.

  3. CB in the City Says:
    1599921610

    Wow. You have accomplished a lot -- and how sad that people have taken advantage of him. The kind and generous seem to always be punished in this way!

  4. mumof2 Says:
    1599970128

    Glad that your dad has you to take care of him but just wondering what will happen when you leave and those people come back....glad he is doing much better and you are improving his overall health and wellbeing in all aspects of his life

  5. rob62521 Says:
    1600024005

    What a blessing you are for your dad! Be sure to take care of yourself too!

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